I would love to know what you’d think and say about how the kids have grown, what they’ve become, who they remind you of, how important they are to you. I’d like to share my garden with you, though I know just the thought of this heat would make your skin crawl. I wonder what you’d think of America, where I am in my life, all the obstacles I’ve dealt with to get this far. Most of all, I hope you are looking down and know that we are happy, that you would be pleased for us and with us.
I have been cutting and bagging the dead daffodils, tulips and irises and clearing the early spring debris so as the Asian lilies can reign in full glory. Consumed with juggling new plantings in the window boxes and dusting the cedar lintels over my windows to prevent a further infestation of carpenter bees, I didn’t notice, my kids were hurting. Of all the flowers in the garden, none are as important to me as watching my children bloom. They are not babies and do not live within walking distance, in fact if I have any discomfort in my life right now, it would be the distance I am from my kids. I learn a lot from watching my garden. Seeing the plants establish, in awe of mother nature and the beauty she affords us all. I have learnt so much from my children and my granddaughter. This week’s epiphany is no exception. I see how my mistakes have impacted their choices, My protectiveness has allowed them to adopt “prince or princess” behaviours that is hard on their partners. In my quest to build their self worth and teach them to accept nothing but the best, have I neglected to teach them humility? Have I given to ease my pain rather than help them grow? I understand they will no longer “do” because “I am mum and I say that “I need you to do this for me”. Just like I cannot control the bloom time of my flowers, just be ready for the moment …and enjoy it, when it comes, I cannot control the curve balls that are bouncing in my direction this week.
Growing up, I planned to be a physical education instructor, or if I got really lucky, to train dolphins and
swim for a living. Swimming is a passion of mine; I wasn’t sure where I would
find dolphins in Shrewsbury, an agriculturally rich town and definitely inland and without any visible
signs of dolphins. I hadn’t got a clue how a small town girl like me would find the kind of money it took to move away and follow one’s dreams. That was the kind of thing other folks did.